I know what you’re thinking: “I thought we were here to talk about money?!”
We are.
But we can’t really talk about money until we deal with the SHAME we carry in our money relationships.
You know what I’m talking about:
– I’m embarrassed by the amount of debt I have
– I grew up poor and don’t want anyone to know
– I make really good money and have nothing to show for it
– I don’t have enough savings
– If I’m not wealthy or appear well-off, I won’t be accepted
You may think shame in money relationships only relates to scarcity of resources. You may be surprised by these:
– I am embarrassed by my wealth
– I make great money, but would like more (I should be ashamed for wanting more)
– I didn’t earn any of the money I have, it was just given to me
I get this from my clients a lot:
– What’s wrong with me that I trusted her with my money?
– I don’t understand how to read my financial statements
– My business is failing, what will people think of me?
Oh Shame…it is there to protect us. To make sure we keep our secrets in the dark. Where they will be hidden. It protects us by ensuring that no one will see our true selves.
I liken shame to weeds in the garden or in a field. Weeds and flowers (or crops) both grow in the same dirt.
Weeds want to be left alone. In fact, they do best when we ignore them. They want to take root and take out the beauty that’s in the dirt right next to them. Choking the life out of the flower or crop that is there to add beauty and depth and vitality to our life.
What happens to flowers and crops when we tend to them? When we clear out the weeds? They grow taller. They blossom. They have room to grow and THRIVE.
Shame works in the same way as weeds. It likes it when we stuff it down. When we don’t share the fact that its taking hold in our hearts and minds. It wants us to keep its dirty little secret.
When we carry shame about our money situation, it only serves to ensure that our relationship with money stays in the dark. Shame in our money situation doesn’t allow us to grow or thrive.
I want you to thrive in your money relationship.
And no matter your walk of life – this is possible!
That is why the first money mastery lesson is to let go of the shame. Accept that it is there, shine a light on it, and pull it out of your money garden.
This first step is the hardest, but ask yourself: what shame-related messages have you carried around or keep carrying around about money?
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